Just a nice day

I sat through 3 hour of pharm and then we had a cook-out on the patio outside our classroom. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we had music and hamburgers and hot dogs (no beer though) and it was just really nice. 8 more school days left.

Pharm test went well

I was the first to finish - 20 minutes for 50 questions and I got a 92%. Yeah I was surprised too. This wasn't an easy test and some people barely passed. I just knew the answers to almost everything right away. That was a nice feeling for sure. I got up at 5 this morning and was at school by 6 so I could go over things one more time after studying for a few hours last night. I used the same study method for clinical medicine and got the class high score of 94% on that test. My grades are such now that I'd really have to hose things up to lose a B in any of my classes and A's are in reach for all of my classes except Pharm. I had a grin on my face all day today that several people comented on - I just felt great knowing that in less than 3 weeks this didactis year and its hassels will be history. You know when I first started school I wasn't sure if I could do it and now I am all but done with what is in my mind the hardest part of it. Still nervous but looking forward to starting clinicals in September.

3 weeks left

I can't believe that the didactic year has almost reached its conclusion. I'm not sure I am ready for clinicals but I'd much rather take a different sort of beating now.

We had a clinical medicine test last week that covered hematology, some oncology and ENT. The test was only 33 questions, like always. Somehow I managed to only miss two questions, which was a nice surprise. Usually if I feel good about a test I don't do as well as when I am nervous and study till 11 and get up at 5 to study more and feel like I don't know a thing going into the test. I have cemented Bs in most of my classes which is kind of nice. There's less pressure to sweat an A or freak out over getting a C or worse. I have to study Pharm till the cows come home because it is so much of what a PA does and there are plenty of chance to harm the patient if you don't know what you are doing.

My son's bedroom is 8 feet from my "office" and he is battling my wife over going to bed. He didn't take a nap or eat anything for dinner so he is an emotional rollercoaster now. No studying till he is sound asleep - I am guessing another hour from now. I probably have to go in and take care of some emergency he'll fabricate to keep from going to sleep. He is so much work but I wouldn't want it any other way. He offered to get his buddies together and catch the guy who stole my chaco flip flops at the gym. How can someone who pays big money to go to a really nice gym steal someone's shoes there? It pisses me off that someone has stolen from me again and that they took my really nice, every day attire chaco flip flops. We're talking $50 (I didn't pay that much) here damn it! Sometimes I really hate people.

I Tweaked my back months ago playing hockey and it just won't get better. It really hates it when I have sit for hours on end, daya after day in a chair that amanesty international wouldn't let a political prisoner use for one day. At least in three weeks that damn chair won't be able to torment me any longer. I am popping cyclobenzaprine and ibuprofen like they were tic tacs and to no avail. I can handle injuries to most parts of my body fine. But when the back is dinged it really screws up EVERYTHING. I like playing hockey so there is little chance of getting better untill the season is over. Besides I probably won't have time to play once clinicals start and I am driving/living all over the state. Gotta get my Herriet Lane handbook for my first rotation - Pediatrics. Should be interesting. I hope my preceptors like to teach and provide guidance. Time for more muscle relaxers and a heating pad. And back to studying pharm.

5 weeks left

5 weeks remain in the semester and it feels like it can't come soon enough. The didactic year has been demanding in ways I never imagined. I've written about the toll it has had on my family life and to some extent it has had on my psyche. I've wondered out loud to my classmates if we'll look back on this time with any nostalgia or fondness. None of them seem to think we will. I don't know, but I think it is possible. One of our intructors likend it to childbirth and the amnesia that goes along with it, ensuring that women don't quit having kids after the first one. I will miss my time spent with classmates and the camaraderie we have built through our shared struggles. Most have not experienced the the problems I have, yet I dont see my classmates who would easily or freely admit to struggling in anything.

Some of my single classmates have made this time little more than an extension of their undergraduate studies and therefore have little problem going out several times a week and partying on the weekend. It seems to work fine for them, and at times I am envious at their lack of apparent effort or stress; I couldn't do what they do and get away with it. I do wish that my wife were interested/involved in my studies. She hasn't helped me study for a single test and seems at times confused and dismayed as to why I would want to spend my professional life peering into strangers orifices, not to mention the requisite physical contact of exams.

But it is what it is and I am almost done. I have worked my tail off and have gotten good grades and evaluations. I made some good friends and tested myself under some difficult scenarios. It hasn't been perfect and I have made some mistakes. At times it was all I could do to keep from defenestrating myself, other times I had a ball doing and learning and trying. 5 more weeks of class. It feels like I just started yesterday. It feels like it's been forever.