Thursday, January 20, 2011
Computer...is......dead
My computer died so I have held off posting anything. It has been too long so I am taking a break from work to use my iPhone to post. I am pretty busy at work and am essentially on my own unless I have a question. I have gotten really positive feedback from my supervising physician and patients. I can now get through a full physical exam in ten minutes. I have seen some interesting things and some even more interesting patients. My personal life continues to be a roller coaster with more flats and up hill pushes than enjoyable twists and turns. I was hoping my wife would be happier with me being employed and well paid. It seems she continues to find fault with me, our house, our stuff and our lack things and activities that meet her standards. Will a new house make her happy? Will our son's admission to a good kindergarten make her happy? More vacations? A new job? A cleaner house without clutter? Newer diets? Better exercise plans? Going vegetarian? Losing 40 pounds. Will Having a husband who only wants to do/watch/eat what she likes to help her to be happier? At least I can pay a lot of our bills now!
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6 comments:
I feel your pain man. I usually just suck it up because of my two boys, 2 and 5, who are the world to me. Just don't want to rock their world. Thought of looking into marriage counseling? I am soon. I've followed your blog for a year or so, living the PA goal vicariously through you. I'm happy for you getting there, congrats. Let work be your sanctuary.
Sorry to hear about the marital problems. I hate to say it, but I doubt any of the things you listed are the real problem.
When you are a couple, especially with children, your happiness is inexorably tied to that of your spouse's. It can directly or inversely related depending on the people involved and the dynamics of the relationship. My wife is unhappy with a multitude of things in her (our) life and I am the person/place/thing she can take it out on. So she does on a regular basis. I am I the greatest person around? No. But I am pretty good, all things considered. I grew up having my dad's anger taken out on me and the rest of my family. I am use to this kind of behaivor. Yet if it were not for my son I would have put up with it for a few years less. I simply choose to ignore her "the grass is greener on the side" mentality. What I found so insightful is that she tried to insult me by saying that I would be happy living in a shack. I could only agree with her.
It seems you haven't taken the time to examine your potential involvement in her unhappiness. Do you ever look at things from her perspective? Maybe changing things up, surprising her with a night out that YOU plan or maybe taking the initiative on something, anything at all, would be a BOOST. Like you said, she did support you through your mid-life career change. The least you could do is take some responsibility. Most wives wouldn't support their husband through a career change and take care of the house, the kid, and all the bills. Just a suggestion.
Hmmm, sounds like you struck a cord with the person who anonymously left a comment on the 16 of June. None of us know the whole story; we only know what you've blogged about. I applaud you for venting and using your blog to express yourself. Most people just suck it up and deal with it, and we know that's not healthy.
I only wanted to say that no one is responsible for making anyone happy. Only you can make yourself happy. It is not your job to make your wife happy. She must do that on her own. Just keep enjoying your new position and your son, and stay positive. Focus on what makes you happy, and things will work out just fine.
I've enjoyed reading your blog over the past year. Congrats on graduation and getting the "C." You're in a great place right now, and I can't wait to join you in 8 months.
Thanks for your reply SLP. I agree with you. I also disagree with the last anonym poster. I think most wives would support their husband. This is because one spouse's success is a success for the other spouse. For the entire family really. A little pain in the short term for long term comfort? Sounds like a no brainer to me.
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