It has been a while

I feel that I am maturing as a PA. I recognize and pain over my shortcomings. I try hard to correct them and bemoan my failures. Right now i am working very hard to be fake. Let me explain. My personality and approach is to tell it like it is. If you ask me what I think I will tell you what I think. I will give you an honest and straightforward reply. Some of my patients like this. But many do not. I find that my SP, while she may feel the same about any given patient as I do and often does, she sugar coats everything. She is very, very friendly with every patient, even those that were caught in lies, are faking injuries or are simply not very good people. While I am never rude, I rarely ask the malingering, lying, and rude patients how their holidays were and I certainly won't chat with them about their personal life if it doesn't pertain to their treatment. She will go out her way to be nice to a patient that she feels is, in her own words, a "piece of shit.". I know what you are thinking. How dare he call another human being a piece of shit?! Just who does he think he is after all? I get it. It is not right to think this way. But from time to time we do and for pretty good reasons. Back to my point. Why waste the energy to go out of one's way to be extra nice to someone who, by most accounts is simply gaming the system and doesn't deserve it? It just makes the day easier if you do, that's why. A spoon full of honey helps the medicine go down damn it. These patients make less of a fuss and waste less of your time with BS if they *think* you like them and believe them. to call them on their shit only makes them work harder to convince you -to bring up glaring inconsistencies in their story only forces them to act out a grander tale. Being honest hurts these people and causes them to spill their pain onto all they deal with. So now I realize this. I realize that being this way is not in my genetic makeup. I realize that the days are getting difficult. I realize I need to find a way to make them go by a little smoother. I realize I need to try harder.