Well, I have my loan for this year. Who the heck knows if there will be any money to loan for next year. Hopefully the economy will come around by then, but I am under no illusion that that is a certainty. My wife just told me that the only stock no to lose value was Campbell's soup. Her comment was that most people will only be able to afford soup soon which is why the value went up. A 778 point hit is just amazing to me. I think wall street caused this problem and it pisses me off that tax payers are expected to bail them out. I also understand that in the absence of a bail-out there will be resolution to the crisis. I just hope that when the bail-out does roll out there is no financial boost to the blue shirt-white collar types. e.g. f-um if they have more than one house or more money in their cars than I do in my house.
School is going fine. My grades are good, although I am no longer ahead in my reading. I'd like to get ahead again, but find that as each big exam comes up, my focus shifts to doing well (passing) and my other subjects get less attention. My son loves me again as I have also eschewed studying for spending time with him. I think my wife admires my work ethic and ability to do well in school, but her own work issues create a great deal of stress for her and, by the rule that brown rolls down, me.
Is there a socially acceptable 'male' analog to the wheeled book bag used by some female students with heavy books. I am looking to attach a milk crate to a skateboard, tethered with a long chain that I can use to cart around the shit-ton load of books I need on any given day.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
THUD.
So classes are in full swing and I find myself completely stressed out. My gut is in a knot, my chest is tight and I get headaches. Classes aren't hard but the volume is difficult to manage. I am doing fine in my classes but I have never felt so much pressure to succeed in my life. Every one and their mother knows what I am doing so there is no place to hide in the event this doesn't work out. The fact that neither my wife nor my son has adjusted well to me going to school makes things very difficult. My wife was already stressed out with her job so her threshold for stress is lower than a snake's belly. My son doesn't want much to do with me now and prefers his Mom for everything. He's also about as mean as a toddler can be about about it. My wife on the other hand has not made a single day easy for me either. On top of all this my school is run like a Soviet bureaucracy. My program is OK. Disorganized, but otherwise OK. The school itself is maddeningly idiotic in the way it is run. If this were a true, market driven business, it would likely go the way of our investment banks. Oh, crap. That's a bad analogy considering this is a state school owned by the tax payers. If my school were a true business, it would go bankrupt like any other poorly run business that is not a US car manufacturer or investment bank. CEOs and politicians have at least one thing in common. They work for themselves and their "buddies" rather than their employees and constituents.
So classes are in full swing and I find myself completely stressed out. My gut is in a knot, my chest is tight and I get headaches. Classes aren't hard but the volume is difficult to manage. I am doing fine in my classes but I have never felt so much pressure to succeed in my life. Every one and their mother knows what I am doing so there is no place to hide in the event this doesn't work out. The fact that neither my wife nor my son has adjusted well to me going to school makes things very difficult. My wife was already stressed out with her job so her threshold for stress is lower than a snake's belly. My son doesn't want much to do with me now and prefers his Mom for everything. He's also about as mean as a toddler can be about about it. My wife on the other hand has not made a single day easy for me either. On top of all this my school is run like a Soviet bureaucracy. My program is OK. Disorganized, but otherwise OK. The school itself is maddeningly idiotic in the way it is run. If this were a true, market driven business, it would likely go the way of our investment banks. Oh, crap. That's a bad analogy considering this is a state school owned by the tax payers. If my school were a true business, it would go bankrupt like any other poorly run business that is not a US car manufacturer or investment bank. CEOs and politicians have at least one thing in common. They work for themselves and their "buddies" rather than their employees and constituents.
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