Holly cow! The date keeps getting nearer and I have not yet lost that nervous/anxious feeling in my gut. When I tell people I am going back to school they ask me if I am excited. I guess I am excited, but I am also scared sh!tless. I put my notice in at work yesterday, removing any last notion that I will be doing anything else but going to school. I am leaving a cush job in medical research that pays more than what most new grads could hope to get. I have severed all ties to security. Sure I have my wife to support me. She has been supportive of this all along. Problem is she has a job that she doesn’t like too much and I think she wishes it was her turn to do something “fun and new” with her life. While going back to school is indeed new, I cannot in any way think of it as fun. I mean, this is 80 hrs a week minimum of sit on your ass and pay attention work that I am paying no small sum to participate in. This isn’t like undergrad where I could sit in lecture and cram the night before the test and get a B-. Nope. In fact anything less than a C is cause to be kicked out of the program and most of my classes ain’t easy. There’s not a lot of comfort knowing that there is no room for failure. But it makes sense given the stakes – I would expect no room for failure when treating a patient either. Still, not much in the way of kittens and cotton candy in terms of my immediate future.

When I put in my 2 weeks notice, no one really raised a stink. They quietly wished me well and that was it. I was relieved in way, but their response didn’t lead me to believe my leaving was a big deal at all. Given my feeling that I was hired way too early and that nobody was really prepared to keep me busy, along with the fact that I had very little work to do, I can see why my departure in an almost non-issue. I am grateful that my employer hired me and gave me the opportunity to learn something new and paid me well during that time. Thanks Generic Medical Research Facility.

I’d like to think my institution of higher learning is organized and on the ball. But interactions with its various representatives and current students have given me the notion that not all will be smooth sailing. We’ll see I guess. Plus, it’s not like I can do anything about it or just pick up and go to another school, right? At least I got to stay in state and can live in my own comfy home while going to school.

So, now I have all of my books, stethoscope, diagnostic set, new laptop, etc. Heck I haven’t even started classes and I’ve already dropped 2 grand. I am fortunate that I had the money and was able to get a head start, if in the end only to sooth my anxiety and make me feel like I am somehow getting a jump on things.

I guess I am excited, a little. But I can’t wait to get the first semester under my belt!